Would the company not yet advertising on the green platform please stand up?

Just the other day I was emptying bags from a quick trip to Target. Now don't get me wrong. I love Target. They do a lot of good that other retailers don't (and nobody brands better). BUT. In an effort to do the obligatory "green" positioning, they have printed on the side of their plastic bags: "10 Ways to Re-use Your Target Bag". Allow me to share a couple.

• Number 3: Water Balloon
• Number 5: Soggy Laundry
• Number 7: Toiletry Tote
• Number 10: Care Package Padding

Contrived? Perhaps it could be used as a first aid kit, which WILL be required after you hit someone with your new 4 gallon water balloon... or for your back after you attempt to throw it.

Were it my job to create the list, I would have given two key directives.

1. Spend more than 5 minutes in brainstorming and revision.
2. If you can only come up with 5 that aren't contrived, reduce list to 5.

One final thought on the bag.

Is the irony of printing an "envoronmentally concious" positioning device on an environmentally wasteful/hazardous piece lost on everyone but me?

It's like carrying your reusable hemp grocery sack into Whole Foods to buy bottled water. You just saved the world from one plastic bag -- 420 of which could be manufactured from the volume of plastic in the 4 bottles of water you just purchased...