Cat Found!

I stumbled across this the other day and just could not stop laughing. So long as you know what this is, I just don't know how you couldn't, as well!

Two Quotes for the Day.

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
- Evan Esar

Could this be applied to campaign rhetoric?
- Dwight Knowton

Some Political Hilarity.

Here is a selection of user submitted ideas on how Obama could still lose the nomination to Hillary. If you're under 11 or attended Freedom Farm, you shouldn't be reading this...

Here's a snippet to prime your clicking finger: "Reader Mark Schondorf submits a whole list of shocking twists, including: “Hillary summons a Kraken”; “Obama was a ghost THE WHOLE TIME!!!”; “Hillary goes back in time to kill Obama’s mother”; “Hillary wins because, as it turns out, she's Keyser Söze”; and “Unbelievably, the aliens are afraid of water.”"

Read the Slate Article Here.

The Joy's of Being in Business.

Working for Dwight Knowlton is a pretty good gig for the most part, but there are sometimes complications.

The last couple weeks have doled out their fair share of work humor, so long as one can manage their perspective well enough to take it lightly.

I have not been that one. I'm not saying that I have missed the humor in the situation.
I am simply saying that there have been a few times that I was looking for something to break.

Let's recap.

03/27: Client wants packaging designed for new product.
Client provides a spec file from vendor (purposeless .dat file).

03/27: I contact vendor directly requesting specs, templates, any relevant information.

03/27: Vendor does not respond.
03/28: Vendor does not respond.
03/31: Vendor does not respond.
04/01: Vendor does not respond (of course).
04/02: Vendor does not respond.

04/03: Vendor responds by sending same worthless .dat file.

04/03: I respond: "Thanks. Can you tell me what format the graphic capabilities file is supposed to be? It is coming through as a .dat which is unuseable. It it a PDF, maybe?"

04/03: Vendor does not respond.

04/04: Vendor responds by not writing a single word, but attaching "graphics capabilites.dat". Again.

04/04: I spend a few minutes replacing the file extention and find that the file is supposed to be a .doc. I am able to open it...and find that it is of absolutely no value.

04/04: I send the basically worthless file back to the client as a .doc, in case they ever need to supply it to someone who might want to be able to open it. And then close it.

04/04: Given that I am getting absolutely no information on requirements or process -- I decide to try a new method. Providing a draft file for critique.

04/04: "Dear vendor, I am working on the __________ packaging for _________. I am submitting this for review. Could you supply me with your file preferences/guidelines, and the appropriate template (if necessary). Please let me know if we are missing anything. File attach. Message send.

04/04: Vendor does not respond.

04/07: Vendor responds. But wait. Vendor does not answer questions. Vendor says, "I have sent your file to print, but prepress tells me that we are missing fonts. Please convert all type to outlines and resubmit file".

04/08: I respond with a revised file and a nice note. "This is a print file. The previous file was not.
All of my questions that have gone unanswered - I have gotten answers from other sources, so we should be set to go with this."

04/08: Vendor responds, "Here is the proof. Please note the die line. Your label is smaller than the die line. Is this supposed to have a white border? Also, I have not received the label spec form back from you so I am guessing on this label. Do you want white paper or is this supposed to have a metallic look?

04/09: I respond (cc-ing the client): "This is exactly the template I was asking for last week. I needed a final dimension on the label. I have revised the file to eliminate the white border and added some bleed. Given the additional room, I have also relocated some type. You will want to check with the client, ________ on the paper choice. I am not the client, so can't make the call on that, or submit the label spec form you mention."

04/09: Vendor: "Ok, I think now I understand the problem. I thought you were the client. Do you have any information about _________ (client) so I can ask them. Sorry but this is really confusing."

_______________________________

OK. It's still going to get better,
but let me analyze this last note for a second.

Conclusion 1: You thought I was the client...so you did not respond to my emails, and have never answered a single question that I asked? Interesting technique.
Conclusion 2: You wonder if I have any contact information for the individual/company that I work for?
Conclusion 3: "Do you have any information about..." is interrogative. Use a question mark.
Conclusion 4: You didn't notice that I just provided you with the clients email, did you?
Conclusion 5: This is confusing. Yes? Yes!

_______________________________


04/11: Client forwards email from vendor.
Proofs are attached. Plural. Proofs.
Two of the same file. The file from 04/08.
The one that was replaced by the file that I sent 04/09.
Vendor asks same questions that vendor asked on 04/08.

Is this supposed to have a white border?

Durability is a Plus.

This was just one of those things that had outlived it's usefulness and
as such, had to be destroyed. Thank you Jeremy for the camera work.

This film was edited by Liz Muller.
All Rights Reservated.